my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
