Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Randomize