so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize