it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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