just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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