Jerry, you need to find god
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Randomize
