Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
