I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize