i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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