so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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