Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
