you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
