trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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