So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
