I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I just forgot I was standing up.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
