i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
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