singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
