I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
