ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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