i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
