Tell her she can't have a vagina
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
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