I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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