Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
