I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
