youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
