yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
