I bet he comes in French.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
