Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
