im so drunk with asians
where?
always
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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