I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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