you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
