No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
