Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Randomize
