Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
