Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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