mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
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