Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
