my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
