You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Randomize
