he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize