Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
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