i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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