Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
