Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
