omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize