Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Randomize
