Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
you win again, gameday.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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