He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize