You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
My butt remains clenched, sir.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
