i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
