Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
