Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Randomize
