I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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