Pappa wants mamma naked
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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