My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Randomize
