Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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