i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
