peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
