before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
