You really coming over, don't trick.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize
